my only surviving grandparent's birthday is fast approaching. grandma mary will be 97 on july 30. she technically lives in new jersey with her older son, but really, she spends just as much time in maryland with my dad, her younger son, which means she's here a lot. ALOT.
my parents come over to our house every sunday morning and have been doing so ever since madeleine was a baby. it's nice. they bring bagels, we sit around and shoot the shit, and the kids entertain their grandparents. once in a while, i take the opportunity to use it as free babysitting and escape for a pedicure, or sometimes just to sit in my car by myself and mutter.
so when grandma's in town, she tags along. for someone who's almost a century old, she's doing pretty damn well. she's about four and a half feet high and weighs 70 pounds soaking wet, but she's healthy. she forgets where she is sometimes, but late in the afternoon, after the kids have run me ragged and and i'm on my second glass of cheap trader joe's wine, i forget, too. she's kind of a pain in the ass, what with her needing help up and down the stairs and her incessant chatter (do you want to hear about the great depression? again and again and again? because if you do, you might want to stop by. don't bring anything, we've got bagels.), but holy hell, she's NINETY-SEVEN FREAKING YEARS OLD. she's allowed.
so, anyway, my dad called this morning, and left me a long, rambling voice mail asking if it would be ok if we celebrated grandma's birthday this sunday when they came over. nothing fancy, no cake, maybe just a candle in her bagel, but would i mind terribly if we did this? would it be too much of an imposition? would it be ok with me?
it got me wondering what kind of an asshole i must be coming off like lately. would i mind if we celebrate an old lady's birthday, my GRANDmother's birthday? why, YES. yes, i would mind. jesus, what a fucking lot of nerve someone has to even SUGGEST such a thing. take your goddamn birthday and get the hell out of my house, dad. you AND the horse you rode in on.
seriously, am i an asshole? because i don't think i am. but maybe i'm wrong. i'm usually not, but there's a first time for everything.
2 comments:
To quote the Simpsons, I'd say "Long answer no with a but, short answer yes with an if."
You could only be an asshole if you turned yourself inside-out and sphinctered-out. Puh-lease. Your sweet pop just didn't want to impose on you with his mom. You'll do it to Lulu and Hunter one day too - but you'll be imposing on them with me - Crazy Ol' Auntie M.
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