i'm totally a magnet for crazy.
so many bizarre instances throughout my life, too many to count, but highlighted here: the guy following me into the filene's basement, the guy who jerked off in my underwear in the laundry room, the dog that dragged me down a sidewalk and sent me to the ER to get nine stitches in my ear.
today's crazy isn't on par with those, but it still creeps me out anyway.
i was checking out at trader joe's (essentials: wine; um, other stuff). hunter was in the front of the shopping cart, since his now-almost-seven-month-old self (!!!!) can sit up really well, and i was busy getting my wallet out. the guy behind me started commenting on hunter ("what a handsome boy, look how happy he is, look how well he sits up," yada yada yada), and of course, like any proud mama, i bit. i agreed with him, remarking on how adorable he is, but what a big boy, not quite seven months and already 22 pounds, he's breaking his mama's back.
the guy keeps talking and i start to hear the crazy in his voice and the hairs on the back of my neck start to stand up. i inch ever closer back to hunter.
"my wife and i used to have a baby but unfortunately, she was kidnapped," he says.
yup. the crazy is confirmed. there it is.
"oh, my goodness," i stammer, suddenly taking an intense interest in the cashier's speed so we can hightail it the fuck out of there.
"yes. she was taken by an entity called child protective services," he goes on to tell me, because how could i, such a good mother, possibly have heard of such an organization? "our baby lost a few ounces after birth and was taken from us. you should make sure you keep hunter away from bad people, like pediatricians, especially the ones at northern virginia pediatrics, because they're slime." he tells me all this in the most even-keeled tone of voice, as though he were telling me that the high today would be 65 degrees but partly cloudy.
"uh-huh," i blurt. "oh, you can throw everything in one bag," i tell the cashier. "i've got to pick up my daughter. one bag is great. yeah, just throw it all in there. wine, too."
he hands me a business card. "we're working to get our daughter back. here's our website. there's also a major motion picture coming out about this." the card is double-sided and is exactly the kind of thing you'd expect from this kind of crazy. "ok, thanks now, good luck!" i yell, as i race the shopping cart out of there.
i checked out the website later. crazy is sad. i don't know what happened to these poor people. but i'm pretty sure their baby wasn't taken away from them because of some minor post-birth weight loss. i'm hesitant to even link to their website, because i'm not sure i want any hits coming from my site, but suffice it to say, damn. crazy is out there.
later this afternoon, we were leaving the dairy godmother with some of our friends to head to a nearby playground, and crazy, this time in elderly female form, stopped me. she was yammering on and on about st. patrick's day, about how many people were wearing green this year, it was nothing like she'd ever seen on any other st. patrick's day, because wearing green on march 17th? whoa, wacky, dude! and she just went on and on like that, hypothesizing that maybe people really *had* been wearing green all along, but it's just that it's usually so cold on st. patrick's day and are usually wearing coats, so maybe their green had been hidden to her all along, in some vast right-wing irish conspiracy. and since madeleine was intent on throwing rocks into a puddle, i couldn't move it along, so i just kept standing there, offering weak pleasantries ("oh, is that right?"). finally, mic caught on and i can't remember how she did it, but she said something to rescue me and end this exchange. oh thanks god.
so, as i sit here, wearing my green and watching "full metal jacket" (a small, low-budget movie about the plight of the irish. i think. whatever, joe turned it on.), i'm eating potato latkes and vegan blintzes, because is there a better way to celebrate st. patrick's day?
2 comments:
On behalf of the Jewish contingent -- thanks for celebrating St. Patrick's Day with the traditional cuisine you chose. :)
If you shop at the same Trader Joe's we shop at -- yes. There are some sketchy folks around at times. I guess what brings it close to home is that we shiver at how frightening the notion of our kids being taken away could possibly be, whether or not it's due to something we have done. I certainly hope this stranger is getting the support and/or help needed.
may the blessing be always with you!! ........................................
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